Marketing Concept

A Professor was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' - That's Direct Marketing.
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: 'He's very rich. Marry him.' - That's Advertising.
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: 'Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me.' - That's Telemarketing.
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?' -That's Public Relations.
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?' - That's Brand Recognition.
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: I am very rich. Marry me!' She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback.
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap.
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: 'I'm rich. Will you marry me?' and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share.
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: 'I'm rich, Marry me!' your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets.

What Blood Type are you..? cute..:)

which one are you?
(click on the image for larger view)

The Equation

The Equation:

7 Glance = 1 Smile

7 Smile = 1 Meeting

7 Meeting = 1 Kiss

7 Kisses = 1 Proposal

7 Proposal = 1 Marriage

- And that 1 Bloody marriage has 77777 problems. So beware of glance! __________________________________________________________

Plan For Future:

Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?

Ram: I want 2 be a pilot.

Vinod: I want 2 be a doctor.

Deepa: I want 2 be a good mother.

Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa. ______________________________________________________________

Exams:

Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;

1,Too Many Questions.

2,Difficult to Understand.

3,More Explanation is Needed.

4,Result is always FAIL! ______________________________________________________________

Liar:

A man is dying of Cancer.

His son asked him, "Dad, why do you keep telling people you are dying of AIDS?"

Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom ___________________________________________________________________

Delivered:

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED". _____________________________________________________________________

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

NIKAH SATU KAMPUNG HARAM..???!!!

BERITA GEMPAR!!!!! HARAP-HARAP TENANGKAN PERASAAN SEBELUM MEMBACA LAPORAN INI, BAGI YANG TELAH TERLANJUR... APA NAK BUAT!!!!

Haram menikahi gadis satu kampung JAKIM telah mengeluarkan fatwa baru. Setelah diadakan perbincangan dan diskusi diantara para pemimpin JAKIM dan ahli ulamak, memberikan fatwa pada tanggal 3 oktober tahun 2003: "HARAM HUKUMNYA BAGI SEORANG MUSLIM LAKI-LAKI UNTUK MENIKAH DENGAN GADIS SEKAMPUNG"

Fatwa JAKIM ini telah menimbulkan perdebatan dan bantahan yang sangat sengit antara yang pro dan kontra. Bahkan banyak pihak yang menyatakan bahawa JAKIM telah mengambil keputusan yang tersebut tidak munasabah dan terburu-buru. Wartawan Berita Harian telah meminta pegawai kanan JAKIM untuk memberi ulasan yang mendalam sebab sebab JAKIM mengeluarkan fatwa sedemikian. Inilah isi wawancara tersebut:

Wartawan: Bagaimana JAKIM boleh mengeluarkan fatwa haram untuk menikahi gadis sekampung?

Pegawai Kanan : Bagaimana tidak haram, sedangkan menikahi empat orang wanita sahaja sudah berat, apalagi satu kampung!!!..........


hehehehehe> p/s: jgn marah ekkk...

english as it is badly broken..

English as it is badly broken....

Seorang pemandu yang berbosskan org putih dari Amerika sedang membawa bossnye.. tiba-tiba kereta dihadapannya berhenti mengejut menyebabkan dia telah menyodok kereta tersebut.

Pemandu tersebut pun meminta maaf dari boss nya....:

Pemandu: Sorry Sir, I brake brake, do not eat. After I check the wheel no flower again.
(maaf Tuan, saya brek-brek, tak makan, selepas saya cek tayarnya tak ada bunganya lagi)

Orang putih tu pun mahu keluar dan ikut sama marahkan pemandu kereta dihadapan.

Tapi pemandu tersebut menghalangnya... Kata pemandu tersebut:

Pemandu: Don't enter mix, Sir! The bring that car if not wrong I, is the children fruit from manager moneys, he stupid doesn't play! Let he taste.
(Jangan masuk campur, Tuan! Yang bawa kereta itu kalo tak salah saya, anak buah dari pengurus kewangan, dia memang bodoh bukan main... Biar dia rasa)

Besoknya si pemandu tak masuk kerja, lusanya, bila dia masuk kerja, si boss orang putihnya bertanya:
Boss : Why didn't you come to work?

Pemandu : I am sorry boss, my body is not delicious, my body taste like enter the wind.
(maaf boss, badan saya tidak sedap, badan saya rasanya macam masuk angin)

hahaha... hope u'll enjoy this...lol

jokes...

jokesss...

There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female
pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings!
"YES".. OK, BYE". She turns to her lover and says, THAT'S
MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.

3 Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo!!!
Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

3 Guys were introduced to a girl.
Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a saint.
I'm Paul not a POPE.
I'm John not a Baptist...
The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.

Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time.
Mistresses are Tomyams..Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.
WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's nothing to eat.!!!

Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her
occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.
She replied: I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR!!

Yesterday's
A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

Why do Indians talk non stop?
guess.... Still dunno? OK lah.....
Answer : Becoz they left their full stop on their forehead.

10 reasons why u should leave work at 6.00 pm

1. employment letter stated tht working hour finish at 6.00 p.m
2. work is a never-ending process even you stay until next morning u will never finish it.
3. human are not robots even robots/machines have to rest or else it will facing breakdown prob.
4. u love ur career, but ur family is even more important in ur life.
5. if u failed in ur life, ur boss is not going to be the one who gives u a helping hand whereas ur family would definitely offer help.
6. u do not want to screw up or make ur life miserable because of ur job.
7. monthly salary = work frm 9.00 am - 6.00 pm

if 6.30 pm = $0.00+ 0 bonus + 0 Ang pau + 0 apreciation + bad health + bad social life + poor family relationship.

equal to = unproductive employee + performance drop + company reputation drops + retrenchment rate increases + resignation rate increases

8. if the person who disagree to the above formulation, we think he/ she is a loser who has no life, heartless, doomed workaholic, ect. he/she deserves the 'Best Employee of The Year Award'!
9. u don't give a damn if ur boss fires you
10. for the chinese, remmber this 'Haouse In The East No Longer Keep You, Then Just Move to The West House'

Psssst: so..?? u still wanna stay back meh? ciao lor...:p